summer haze & summer days

summer always seems to come and go just like a wonderful surreal daydream, like quick bright patches of sunlight passing over the walls. when it’s somewhere in the middle of july, it feels like there’s never been any other reality but this: slow, dreamlike, warm, and slightly sluggish. i love every season when it’s starting or at its prime; i love autumn with its rain and yellowredorange leaves and the petrichor and rich earthy colors, and i love winter when there’s five feet of untouched snow and it comes down in big, white, fluffy flakes and i can stand looking out of the front door pretending i’m in an elevator heading straight for the clouds, and i love spring only after all the snow has melted and all the leaves are budding, but summer is different. i always love all of summer because it means not having to be constantly stressed and worrying all the time and actually having some time to think. usually i spend most of my summers lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling or looking out the window pretending that i’m on a puffy white cloud sailing through the endless drowning blue of the sky. however, this summer’s been a bit different because i’ve been busy working at a lab, and i’ve been learning so much (mostly about coping with my social anxiety and figuring out how to interact with people, even if i dread the thought of being forced to go into medicine and having to dissect rats and become a doctor).

a list of things that remind me of summer: the virgin suicides, midnight thunderstorms, songs i used to love years ago, the great gatsby, “trees” by joyce kilmer, the dreamers, shoegaze, patches of sunlight on wooden floors, forsythia

also i’ve changed the theme of this blog and i think i like it better. i’ll be trying to post more often/more things that i’ve been meaning to post within the coming weeks. if you’re reading this, i hope you’re having a lovely summer!

here’s a small playlist i made:

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