an update of sorts

hi everyone! sorry i haven’t been writing for some time. i shall try to post more poetry soon, as well as a few reviews of books i’ve read recently. in other news, i graduated from high school a couple of weeks ago!! kind of scary/nostalgic/happy/exciting all at once. i’ll be starting college next year, so if you have any advice about that, please feel free to share. i’ll need it. anyway, i hope you’ve all been doing well! here is a mix of music i’ve been listening to lately:

summer haze & summer days

summer always seems to come and go just like a wonderful surreal daydream, like quick bright patches of sunlight passing over the walls. when it’s somewhere in the middle of july, it feels like there’s never been any other reality but this: slow, dreamlike, warm, and slightly sluggish. i love every season when it’s starting or at its prime; i love autumn with its rain and yellowredorange leaves and the petrichor and rich earthy colors, and i love winter when there’s five feet of untouched snow and it comes down in big, white, fluffy flakes and i can stand looking out of the front door pretending i’m in an elevator heading straight for the clouds, and i love spring only after all the snow has melted and all the leaves are budding, but summer is different. i always love all of summer because it means not having to be constantly stressed and worrying all the time and actually having some time to think. usually i spend most of my summers lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling or looking out the window pretending that i’m on a puffy white cloud sailing through the endless drowning blue of the sky. however, this summer’s been a bit different because i’ve been busy working at a lab, and i’ve been learning so much (mostly about coping with my social anxiety and figuring out how to interact with people, even if i dread the thought of being forced to go into medicine and having to dissect rats and become a doctor).

a list of things that remind me of summer: the virgin suicides, midnight thunderstorms, songs i used to love years ago, the great gatsby, “trees” by joyce kilmer, the dreamers, shoegaze, patches of sunlight on wooden floors, forsythia

also i’ve changed the theme of this blog and i think i like it better. i’ll be trying to post more often/more things that i’ve been meaning to post within the coming weeks. if you’re reading this, i hope you’re having a lovely summer!

here’s a small playlist i made:

April is the Cruellest Month

Although I’m of the humble opinion that March is worse. It’s the greyness at that time of year, that sagging, slowly aching greyness that really gets to me. Sky the color of a muted, phlegmatic sea on a sunless day. The unmelting, dirty, relentless snow.

March was probably the busiest month for me, what with having to plan everything for school next year and trying to find opportunities for summer a boatload of important tests and assignments on top of it. However, I did manage to get my first poem published in Canvas Literary Mag! And then a few days after that I received an email telling me that is going to appear in the print edition of Teen Ink! I know these aren’t huge publications, but they’ve managed to restore my faith in my ability to write for the time being, and it seems like such a big accomplishment for myself. Trying to not compare myself with others and only focusing on my own personal measure/scale of self-improvement is still a work in progress.

Anyway, I’m so glad the snow is finally starting to melt a bit around here and sunlight is making itself a familiar face again. Spring is coming surely, if not swiftly (and even if there still aren’t any lilacs breeding out of the dead ground). I hope you all are doing well! I hope this month I’ll be able to find the time to blog more often.